Damian and Roger will be canvassing in the next six weeks. Don’t worry. They’re harmless. You’ll know them by their blue rosettes with ‘Vote Europe’ across the middle. They’re canvassing for Conservative MEP candidates for the Euro elections.
Smiling and saying, ‘Good morning’ is fatal. They’re programmed like a washing machine. Once they start they’re very hard to stop. Roger will tell you the only way to Brexit is voting Conservative. Don’t mention 29th March, 12th April, 23rd May, 30th June or Halloween Night. It agitates him.
Damian will tell you Brexit will stop us being slaves and the NHS will get £350m a week as a bonus. He’s working hard at understanding this, so cut him some slack.
Damian believes seamless international trade is worse than customs checks and tariffs. Don’t argue. Shout through to the empty room behind you, ‘Is dinner ready yet?’ It always worked with Jehovah Witnesses in the old days, so why not now?
Meanwhile the Conservative Party is gearing up to greet Prime Minister Theresa May at their Party Conference in Manchester on 29th September. She’ll revive her catch phrase, ‘Brexit means Brexit’ getting rapturous applause from Damian and Roger.
Late News: David Cameron’s autobiography Theresa May: my part in her downfall will be on sale at Conference from 29th September and at all good charity shops from 5th October.